Utilizing 3 tools to commence the end of life conversationQuestion is, how many would overlook the prospect of having to die first in order to get there? Not many because humans are mostly uncomfortable with anything that relates to death. A good example is that they’d want to go to heaven but don’t want to die.

People will stay away basically because they don’t know what to say during times of grief or death. Lucky enough, it’s not something that one can’t learn as there are tools that can help facilitate a productive conversation with someone. They are effective as one will in the process learn how to be and what to do when they approach death.

Using the tools effectively

The first tool demands that you ask the question “What’s currently important to you?” You can accompany such a question with some remorse and show some sympathy by saying “I’m deeply sorry” There’s nothing else to it after that as all you are required to do is simply listen to them. Listening in itself helps a lot even if you don’t have any answers to their questions.

The things that they need may include sleep, comfort or company. This you can offer as you help relieve them from the pain and stress. You can for this instance, allow others to encroach into your personal space as its only then will they feel safe and trust in you.

The 2nd tool to starting end-of-life conversations

You need to not only ask but also do what needs doing. It’s a way of helping out the family as they focus more on other issues.

A testament to this is evident when a hospice volunteer coordinator in Beloit, Wisconsin, taught some of her volunteers to ‘Do what needs doing’ She even wrote a poem about it that describes how a kind soul came and helped clean and dehumidify her carpet while she sat with her husband in his death bed.

The 3rd tool to starting end of life conversations

The third tool consists of a few things namely being available, ever present, open-minded and quiet. There is also the need to be willing to hear, ask and do. You shouldn’t at all anticipate what the other person’s response will be when you ask a question. You just need to listen, it’s that simple.

One of the best things that happened to a person familiar to us when someone close to them died is when their best friend arrived to comfort them. The friend would make regular visits every day after work. Alarmingly, this person barely remembers any of the conversations, all they remember is that they felt relieved that their friend put everything aside and went to be with them.

Mastering up the courage to ask someone what they really want or need during such time shouldn’t be hard if you have the intentions of helping them out. It can make a big contribution in commencing the process of making one get over the grief they are in.